SATURDAY, JANUARY 3, 2009

We actually had quite a nice stretch of Holiday days - I even got a tree.

On Friday morning, once my parents, who had come up to have dinner on New Year's Day had gone, we started talking seriously about doing this program at the Koyfman Center, a place an old yoga teacher of Jodi's had mentioned. I, having been greatly enjoying consuming good food and wine, and simply being able to relax and sit in in our newly rearranged home while the snow and wind whirled outside, for a while, was definitely up for it, but just not exactly now. Jodi, however, wanted to go - and fair play to her - if she didn't do it now, she'd have to go back to work on Jan. 5 in order to be able to take the time later, say - February, to do it, and for health reasons, she really wanted to try it as soon as possible. I had to admit to myself that there truly is "no time like the present" to dive into things like this, but I just wished I had a little more time to prepare so that it wouldn't be so cold turkey - that I could ease into it and in fact, not have to "dive." The time was really the only time for Jodi, though, and the time may have never turned out ideal for me (in the sense that no time is ever ideal for anything for me, for some reason that is undoubtedly of my own psychotic creation), so the decision was made to dive in.

I did request that Jodi make the call to the center to see if they could accommodate us and what sort of program we could participate in. She spoke, first, to Igor. Oh - I should tell you about the Koyfmans - Yakov, Olga, Alex, and Igor (I think there's a daughter, too, but if there is, she hasn't been around - I only suspect there might be because I thought, after Olga had coincidentally finished checking out before us at the Whole Foods on our first day - we were buying juicing supplies for our fast - that I heard the cashier say something about her daughter - I only make a big deal out of it because the rest of the family's so sweet, I'd feel bad leaving her out... if she exists). But on second thought, I'll introduce them as we've met them in this narrative. For now, we only knew what we could glean from the "in somewhat desperate need of a redesign" web site, which is that Dr. Yakov Kaufman is a Ukranian naturopath, who's been working here since the fall of the Soviet Union, and when Jodi called, she got someone who she though said his name was Igor. We learned a lot about what they offered, what the accelerated program for out of state residents entailed, and that they could indeed take us to begin the program on Sunday morning. I used some miles, got us flights, and we were committed.

Things started a little bumpy as we boarded an hour late due to the wind in Providence making it hard for incoming flights to land and the fog in Atlanta that was supposedly stalling things both in and out, appropriately. I have to say, though, I was pleasantly surprised by the mellowness of the very full plane. People sighed, but took it in stride, largely due, I think, to the helpful ground staff and the informative captain - he kept coming on to update us, didn't sugarcoat the situation, but also made sure that we were aware of all the options that he and the various Air Traffic Control people were dealing with and working on. These situations usually leave me feeling dehumanized and hating humanity, which, due to that inherent conflict, causes further confusion, which thus causes greater frustration and depression. This, however, made me feel quite comfortable with humanity - my own and the rest of the humans'. The flight attendant, Jerry, took a shine to either Jodi or me, or the both of us, and always passed with a smile and a wink, and gave Jodi a free beer on the flight (yeah - I was a little surprised too - here I, of all people, was with water, no ice, heading to a fast and cleanse, and Jodi, of all people, is going out with a beer in the air - this was where my one bit of confusion on the flight came out - I was both proud of her, and resentful and jealous!). The fog in Atlanta was no joke, and that made me think even more kindly on our captain. When the wheels touched down I was shocked because I had no indication that we were even below the cloud line yet. I'm serious.

Alamo didn't have anymore economy cars ($15 a day on Priceline - not bad!), so they offered us a mid-sized for the same price. We got to them seconds before a family of four arrived and we were able to get the only midsize on the lot that WASN'T one of those Chevy copies of the PT Cruiser before them. We were chuffed enough about that, but even more when we realized we had satellite radio. About 20 minutes later, I remembered how much I HATE satellite radio. If I have to hear the new Deerhunter (which, let's be honest here, folks - nothin' against them - it's a fine song - they're a fine band - but when is anyone who writes or talks about them going to admit that not only is it nothing groundbreaking, but it's kind of a direct rip-off of anyone from Polvo, to Mary Timony, to Sonic Youth) on XMU one more time... And what the fuck is "1st Wave's" obsession with The Fixx? Really? "Stand or Fall" that many times in a day?? Ridiculous. Shameful.

Grrrr. I have to remember to stay peaceful and focus on why I'm here. But ohhhhhhh, between the crap they throw at you on XMU and the comments section of Brooklyn Vegan... it can be hard.
So anyway, we headed for our last meal at Green Sprout, an Asian veg place we read about that was outside of the city, on the way to Norcross, and it was dope. Empire Chicken, Fingerling Potatoes with Mustard Greens, and Coconut Bubble Tea - nice way to go out! From there, we went to the digs we'd reserved: Extended Stay America Suites on Jimmy Carter Boulevard, only $39 a night! We only stayed there the one night. It was cheap, yes, but adequate for anything BUT an extended stay. Florescent lighting, dirty carpet, crappy tv, cigarette burns in the comforter - sorry, but it ain't worth the money saved when you're gonna be spending the day washing out your colon and not eating, and the night probably needing a comfortable place to relax and a decent bathroom. Before we went to sleep, we found another place online that seemed awesome and affordable, and the next day, before we went over to the Kaufman center, we found out that it is - "awesome," that is. First day of procedures begins tomorrow...

ADDENDUM: Regarding XMU and Deerhunter - this is the first paragraph of Thee Tripwire's review of the new Animal Collective record, which XMU has also been beating to death

Merriweather Post Pavillion is such a colossal success that I find myself simultaneously overwhelmed and at a loss for words. I can’t separate the visceral from the critical: This album is awesome, incredible, awe-inspiring, phenomenal, breathtaking. I’m trying to articulate the integral beauty of “My Girls”, yet all that comes to mind are synonyms for unprecedented and astonishing. The process of “reviewing” each song feels wrong, diametrically opposed to the positive spirit that the album espouses. When a release is this good, why bother deconstructing each harmony or intention? How can I possibly describe Animal Collective’s perfected aesthetic?

Really? "Unprecedented?" ASTONISHING?? Again - it's a really nice song they keep playing, this "My Girls," but I can both cite you precedent and describe their aesthetic: Brian Wilson with electronics.

Meaning to take nothing away from them other than the ridiculous fawning - I like it - I like THEM - but c'mon, guys...